The Theme for April is: Building Support Networks

The Project: Create in case of emergency document

Goal: Create an “About Me” document 

What is the point of this: Creating a network of support for yourself and others

Notes: This could feel heavy! Angela Garbes Guardian piece about writing a living will summed up a lot of my own fears about projects like this. Here is a secret: pretend it is just paper work. Just do the tasks, and be done. Let it make you feel confident and prepared, because you are!

Time to Set Aside: A half hour, more if you think you will need to take time finding information like doctor’s phone numbers or insurance policy numbers. 

Special little bonus: When you're done, information like doctor’s phone numbers and insurance policy info will be in one place so you won’t have to look for it again.

This Month’s Playlist: Some warm and cozy songs about feeling safe and being loved. A little shorter this time, so you can tend to this task in short bursts.

Begin:

  1. Take time to reflect on the people you trust the most, as well as the people with whom you are in close community, and figure out if there is someone (or several people) who you could rely on in an “emergency”. I am putting emergency in quotes here because, yes, I do mean real emergencies, but once this information is exchanged, it might open up space to support each other through life’s minor emergencies as well. My neighbor called me the other day to check if they left a candle burning. They totally didn’t, but it felt nice to be able to give that piece of mind!

  2. Check in with them to see if they have the capacity to be an emergency contact for you. One way to make this feel more equitable might be to choose folks who you have the capacity to offer to as well, and it can be an exchange. For many relationships, this might be a longer conversation than just a text, so schedule that convo right now. Maybe inviting them for coffee or something else relaxing could make this feel more like a regular task, and not something to avoid. See the first Quick Task for an idea on how to make this more robust.

  3. Confront any challenges with this. If there is no one support person that pops into mind, or your closest relationships lack this level of trust consider the following:

    • Do this task anyway! Print it out somewhere conspicuous in your home, in your wallet and save it on your phone. 

    • Do this task, and then consider if there are many individuals who could have different pieces of this information. Consider that these people don’t have to be friends or family. Maybe a coworker or the person who waters the plants while you are away would also like to exchange some of this information.

  4. Start the document! Make a list with ALL of this information and keep it somewhere that you can easily refer to it. A printed copy would be very useful. Once you are done, you can pare it down so that the information on the document is appropriate for the level of trust you have with the person you are sharing it with. (For example, you might feel more comfortable sharing your Insurance provider name but not the policy number with a neighbor). Here are some things to add to the document:

    • Name

    • Date of Birth

    • Phone Number

    • Important people to contact in an emergency

    • Insurance information (Plan name, policy, etc)

    • Provider (Doctor) info (think PCP, specialists, etc)

    • If your medical info is on MyChart (or similar)

    • Important Health info:

      • Diagnoses

      • Allergies (especially to medication)

      • Current medications

      • Dietary Restrictions

    • Important Tasks to manage if you are unable:

      • Pets

      • Plants

      • Family 

    • For close friends and family consider adding more personal information as well

      • Ways to comfort me if I am having a hard time

      • Favorite comfort foods

  5. Consider if there is some one who should have a spare key to your home, and get that made.


Quick Tasks:

  • Find ways to provide support to others. List the people you are close to and the things that are important to them. Consider asking them on a “date” to interview them. Think birthdays, favorite foods, important holidays and celebrations, health challenges. Try asking “How would you like for me to show up for you if you are stressed or in a crisis?”

  • Think about the ways you show up for your friends and schedule some time on your calendar for maintenance. For example, are your friend’s birthdays saved on your calendar? Could you set an alert to check in with them beforehand about plans? Should you write down some of their phone numbers in case you need to contact them without your cell phone?

  • Widen the network. Consider regular investments in local mutual aid groups and taxes to Indigenous groups to stay in right relationship with your broader community. 

Tips and Tricks: 

  • What a perfect time to try body doubling. There are many resources around body doubling from the ADHD community. Very broadly, this can be working with, or sometimes just around, someone else. This can be done physically, in person, and can also be done virtually. This can help with losing track of time and also increase motivation. It can also provide us with a person to co-regulate with if certain tasks feel stressful. Think about how much easier it is to fold laundry if you are chatting on the phone with a friend! 

    • There are many ways to do this! One would be to ask a friend if they have similar tasks to accomplish and see if they want to literally do the same kind of work alongside you. For this month's Project, it could even be an individual or group of friends who all need to exchange this type of information.

    • Another way to do this is with someone who has a different task to accomplish. You could be doing life admin while they read a book or write a paper.  

  • For some projects, it might even be possible to enjoy some kind of media together while independently accomplishing your own tasks! This could look like watching a movie together while one person knits, and another folds the laundry. 

  • You can be very creative with body doubling and you might find over time that it begins to take the edge off of all tasks that you perceive as chores or drudge work and makes them feel a bit lighter. Start with shorter blocks of time. Sometimes multitasking or having people present can be a distraction and that’s not the goal here. Notice what works for you and repeat it frequently!